Frequently Asked Questions:
This is a collection of questions that seem to come up a lot. If you have one that I forgot, send it in. I’ll post and answer it in some kinda timely manner or another.
?: Does your mother know you wrote a book called “Cunt?”
?: How does your mother feel about you writing a book called “Cunt?”
A: It is a mild, yet persistent, embarrassment for her. “Cunt” inspires a certain measure of conflict in her heart. She quite loves my book but it has proven difficult for her to tell friends and neighbor-types what I am “up to.” The title of my new book involves the word “devil,” and so is only marginally less problematic. I have pointed this margin out to my mother, and she has kindly listened to my view that this margin should be celebrated like the an Elks Rodeo Queen win by a contestant who is from any town besides Santa Ynez, where all the rich people live.
?: Does you mother know you wrote about two men raping her when she was a child?
A: Uhm. Yes. I am surprised how many people ask me this question. Like what kind of total asshole would write something so intimate about their mother without fully discussing it with her? I mean, maybe if I was estranged from my mom or she was an abusive monster and I had no contact with her, then this question might make some sense. But anyone who reads “Cunt” knows my mom was on the scene, caring for my ass my whole childhood, and is a very important person in my life. So why would someone think it was plausible that I would just rip that shit off from my mom without first procuring her blessing? This question really makes me wonder about people’s relationship with karma and about honoring those we love.
?: How are your mother’s bowel movements?
A: Haha. Joke. No one has asked me this. But dang, I wouldn’t be surprised.
?: Have you gotten a lot of negative feedback because your book is called “Cunt?”
A: Actually, no. I was very surprised about this. I mean, there’s the localized and obligatory outcry in some communities when I do speaking engagements. Usually those opposed to cuntishness just tear down the fliers that organizers put up. This means hundreds of fliers have to be made and reposted when I am coming to town, which is a significant tree and financial consumption. Mostly, though, the odious light in which the word “cunt” appears in this culture has actually served to protect me and the book. Which has been nice. “Autobiography of a Blue-Eyed Devil” has been met with far, far, far more negativity than “Cunt,” and so far, much of that negativity comes from media sources that liked “Cunt.”
Which I find interesting.
?: As a white person, why do write about racism? How can I, as a white person, be expected to see all of this racism stuff when it doesn’t happen to me? Do you, as white person, hate yourself?
A: Any time I get a question or comment that contains the phrase “as a white person” I tune the fuck out. I learned to tune out when I was a kid and I now do it on auto-pilot when I hear certain things, which is a problem and I am in therapy about it. But no matter how much healing and self-love therapy encourages, “as a white person” will flick that auto-pilot switch until death do us part.
?: Will you tell me how to induce a miscarriage with herbs and meditation?
A: No. If you were to hemmorage to death because of the advice I gave to you, I would never forgive myself and I would prolly sit in jail for a long time while I was busy not forgiving myself. Do not ask me this. Instead, get the safest possible clinical abortion you can get, and start organizing a women’s health collective in your community. By sharing knowledge and compiling this information, you and your community can take care of reproductive and general health concerns as they arise. You can make an investment to protect those in your community so that they won’t have to face the same horror you had to face.
You cannot learn different healing methods without taking the time to do so.
?: I was raped. The man who raped me lives in my community. I don’t know what to do.
A: Call the police. Chances are the rapist piece of shit will not be immediately arrested. If there is no DNA evidence, he will prolly be free as a birdie. If there is DNA evidence and he is a wealthy white male, well respected by the community, he will prolly still be free as a birdie. Still, it’s important to go ahead an file the report with the police.
Next, talk to all of your friends and family members. Some will stand by you and some won’t. Welcome to the wonderful world of denial of sexual terrorism in Amerikkka. This is a good chance for you to find out who has your back in the world and who doesn’t. It’s heartbreaking as fuckall, but a good thing to know nonetheless. Those that stand by you can be counted on to make phone calls to his place of work, informing his boss and co-workers that he is a rapist. Call his wife. Post fliers with his photo and an account of his assault all over town. Get creative and publicize his heinous ass. In the event that none of your friends or family members have your back, you gotta find a support network in your community somehow.
I grew up in a socially blighted backass racist town and I always managed to find a couple people to be my friend. They are there, somewhere near you. You need true friends right now because it is imperative that you do not go through this alone. Rape is a crime against humanity and the only reason it exists is because people are willing to project silence and shame onto the person who has been sexually terrorized because facing the horror of rape in our society is just “too overwhelming” I guess. It is a crime not against any one individual, it kills the humanity in everyone, just like racism does. So a community that will not uphold the silence and shame, and will act out in well-considered, imaginative rage is absolutely, absolutely imperative.
?: How can I take “Autobiography of a Blue-Eyed Devil: My Life and Times in a Racist, Imperialist Society” seriously when you a.) admit that you hate seagulls b.) are “anti-neutering” c.) expect me to believe that the ocean talked to you d.) hate people who eat meat or e.) any other freakishly detailed and largely erroneous nitpicking that I can presently think of and actually have the time to write you a five page email about?
A: You cannot take “Autobiography of a Blue-Eyed Devil: My Life and Times in a Racist, Imperialist Society” seriously. If you have actully read the entire book I wrote and the only possible response you could think of was to write me some long assed email about what a hypocrite I am because, for instance, I very much notice that seagulls are greedy bastards who eat all the crow’s food, then it is impossible for you to embrace the vast complexities involved with being human.
These complexities, I might add, make up the very foundation of this entire book. It is an ongoing theme. So if you gotta break it all down into deciding that, for instance, since I admit I don’t eat meat then I hate meat eaters (even though I go on an on about how I enjoy watching people eat meat), and miraculously forego the entire fucking narration about white supremacist racism and imperialism, then you cannot take this book seriously.
I wish you could, but you can’t.
If you like, I will send you a “cunt” sticker as a consolation prize.